Bekah and Ron are on a streak of watching old episodes of The Rockford Files. On evenings that both are free, they will watch one or two shows, and they are almost through the first season. (There are six!)
One night as they sat down to watch, Bekah said, "I hate James."
"You hate James?!," I questioned, assuming that she was speaking of James Garner. I was wondering why she was so enamored with The Rockford Files if she "hated" James!
But Bekah looked at me as if I had two heads.
One night as they sat down to watch, Bekah said, "I hate James."
"You hate James?!," I questioned, assuming that she was speaking of James Garner. I was wondering why she was so enamored with The Rockford Files if she "hated" James!
But Bekah looked at me as if I had two heads.
"I said 'I hate change.'"
Me: Ohhhhh. 🤦🏻♀️😂
And then: 😭
Because the most recent change that is just around the bend for our family is that Ryan and Sarah are moving.
We have known for several weeks, but I have told very few people because the first thing most people say when they find out where they are moving is "It's not that far." And it really isn't. It's not Oklahoma or California. It's a mere three hours away, and believe me when I say that I am very grateful for that!
But, it changes so much.
No more weekly piano lessons (where Bekah teaches and I hang out and see the bedtime routines and drink coffee and talk and laugh).
We won't see the two babies as frequently, and we all know how quickly babies grow and change.
The older girls won't be in our book club.
What about birthday coffee/dessert/gift evenings . . . times eight?
How about summer beach days?
But, it changes so much.
No more weekly piano lessons (where Bekah teaches and I hang out and see the bedtime routines and drink coffee and talk and laugh).
We won't see the two babies as frequently, and we all know how quickly babies grow and change.
The older girls won't be in our book club.
What about birthday coffee/dessert/gift evenings . . . times eight?
How about summer beach days?
It won't be as simple to share chores (pick up something at Lowe's, cut wood, help move a piece of furniture, babysit, dog/cat sit, rake leaves at Gammy and Gampy's house).
Larger family gatherings (seasonal birthday celebrations, holidays) will be harder to coordinate.
Larger family gatherings (seasonal birthday celebrations, holidays) will be harder to coordinate.
Our available travel days (with Ron still working) will now be divided among two families and two places.
When Kati and family come to Maryland to visit, Ryan and family will not be here.
And when both families visit us (as we hope for Thanksgiving this year), where will we put everybody?!
When Kati and family come to Maryland to visit, Ryan and family will not be here.
And when both families visit us (as we hope for Thanksgiving this year), where will we put everybody?!
Soooo . . .
Yes, I know that three hours is not that far.
Yes, I know that this change is not all about ME.
Yes, I am happy for Ryan and family because they are happy about their new adventure.
But, also yes, I reserve the right to grieve this change while my internal Mama-GPS "recalculates."
Because I will miss them terribly!
And, like Bekah . . .
I hate James! *
What about you? Do you "hate James" or do you roll with the punches?
* "I hate James" will probably be a permanent idiom in our family vocabulary.)
I hear you. I don't much care for change either, especially when it involves friends or family moving away--especially now that I don't drive much anymore--or very far. But I am grateful for technology that makes it a little easier. My daughter started a Zoom book club for all the ladies/girls in our family, and we get together once every six weeks. It's nice to be able to see everyone's faces regardless of which state (NJ, NY, FL, VA, WV) they're all living in.
ReplyDeleteGreat-Granny Grandma, I cannot imagine the days when people did not have technology to keep connected! E-mail, texting, Facetime, Zoom, Skype . . . all are lifelines to our people! No, it's certainly not as good as in person, but it certainly beats no (or infrequent) contact. I think your book club sounds delightful . . . a lovely way to connect across the miles!
DeleteIt depends on what the 'James' are (smile). But when it comes to the shifting and changing of beloved family dynamics, that one really hits me too. I'm glad you are reserving the right to grieve this change while your Mama-GPS "recalculates."
ReplyDeleteCheryl, I'm wishing you grace and ease through these changing times. All the best to Ryan and Sarah as they begin on their exciting new path.
Me too, actually. It really does depend on the "James!" Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, friend!
DeleteI hate James too. And Bless your heart for your openness and honesty that with James, sometimes comes grieving. One another note, Ron and Bekah have my kind of taste when it comes to old shows. The Rockford Files was the best...and MCloud😊
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you for not thinking that I am whining! That James can be so tough!
DeleteRon and Bekah will love to know that there are other lovers of the oldies! They have watched all of the MacGyvers too! :)
I usually love change, but not when it involves my family moving far away. Our oldest, her husband, their daughter, new SIL and now new great grant moved come PNW to SC last fall. Now that's too far! Life changes, but it's still hard sometimes. By the way, Rockford Files are still some of our favorites. We have every season on DVD!
ReplyDeleteOh, that's much too far! That kind of change is hard! Saying a prayer for you right now . . .
DeleteAnother Rockford Files fan? Ron and Bekah are going to love this!
James, or change, is not a favourite of mine, either. Family moving away is hard, even if it is just three hours. But I know that you will find ways to make connections with those babies, and their parents. For now, it's good to acknowledge the sorrow of the change. May daily grace be yours.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Lorrie, for your kind and encouraging words!
DeleteI really enjoy your sharing and can identify with you. We have had many ‘James’ in our family. We have another phrase that can be attached to yours for the ride-a-long. ‘Look what I’m GROWING through!’
DeleteIt may not be the dream or vision you had, but all your nurturing and goodness needs to be shared and planted anew so it can grow and influence others!
Best of everything yo you all💙
Cheryl this one is from Leslie😉💙
DeleteLeslie, thank you so much for your kind words! I like your family phrase . . . "Look what I'm growing through!" That's a good one!
DeleteRyan mentioned that the other day on his FB page and my heart sunk for you! Ugh. I don't mind change overall but never that kind of change. I'm definitely praying.
ReplyDeleteCourage, dear heart.
Thank you for your prayers and your encouragement, Deanna!
DeleteOh I thought we would be talking about the book of James. I have been binge watching a couple of mysteries. I have come to believe they are the devil. As for change? Usually, I hate it, too. Just when we are getting settled down with an idea...poof...it is over. My daughter is selling her riverside home. Kids!
ReplyDeleteRon and Bekah are definitely the TV watchers. Amazingly, they like many of the same things!
Delete"Poof." Yes, that's it! It takes me a while to adjust . . .
So much change going on. Glad it's not James that she hates. Glad you can express the hard parts of change like this. It does take time to re-adjust and it's still hard for the reasons you state. Praying for your family as they take on these new adventures and you as you adjust...
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Ellen! I appreciate your prayers for all of us! You know the challenges of distance, and you all make it work beautifully. I will be okay once I "recalculate."
DeleteOh how I can relate to this post! Just think on all the wonderful gatherings you've had with this dear family and be so glad you did! I'm sure the gatherings will be "Jamesed" but all will be well and new! Huge hugs ...
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for those hugs, Rosella! Oh yes . . . so happy for all of the gatherings! One of my life philosophies is to do what you can, whenever you can, to spend time with your people. Life is always changing and you never know when.
Delete