What Do You Go By?

Sometimes a little social anxiety gets in the way of your brain. 

A few years ago, I was chatting with one of Ron's cousins at a family reunion. Attempting to bring Bekah into the conversation, Karla turned to her and said, "Hi, Rebekah." And then, "What do you go by?" 

I looked at Bekah, waiting for what seemed like a very long time for her to answer such a simple question. She looked a little panicky and finally stumbled out, "I don't know."

(What?!)

I supplied the answer for Karla. "She goes by Bekah." 

Later, I asked Bekah why in the world she had said she didn't know what her name was! She explained to me that what she had heard was, "What do you go buy?" and she didn't know how to answer that! We both laughed, imagining what Karla would have thought if she had answered, "Dresses." Or "Books." 

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I think that one of the reasons I like to write is that I can ponder what I am going to say. I can get my thoughts together, consider, weigh my words, change wording, clarify...even start all over if it's not right. 

Not so with speaking. 

On more than one occasion, my mouth brain has failed me and I have blurted out the wrong thing. (I shared one such story in this post. Can you even believe it?)

Then there was the time that I was in 10th grade and was going on a field trip. I was sitting on the bus as more students piled on and found seats. I looked up and getting on the bus was the cutest guy in my school! And the seat beside me was empty. It was my lucky day! 

So there I sat, knowing that Mr. Cutest-Guy-in-My-School could very well choose that seat because it was the first free seat he would come to on the nearly full bus. I saw him glance over at the empty seat. (Yay!) As he got closer, I imagined him saying, "Is anyone sitting here?" and I was so very prepared to say "No!" in my perkiest voice. 

Just as he had in my imagination, he stopped there at the empty seat. (Woo hoo!) He looked at me (swoon) and said, "Can I sit here?" 

And I (in the perky voice that I had rehearsed in my head) said, "No!" 

No. I didn't just say that! He hadn't read the script! He was supposed to say, "Is anyone sitting here?" 

Wait a minute, Mr. Cute! I meant, "No one is sitting here!" Please come back! 

But he had already moved on toward the back of the bus.

Yep. Bekah gets it honest.

Sometimes a little social anxiety gets in the way of your brain.