A Mother's Musings: Changes and New Mercies

It has been an exciting and bittersweet year. 

There have been so many beginnings and endings in our world these past months, making a mother's heart flutter. 

This past spring, we watched a nest of baby robins in a rhododendron in our backyard. As we came and went, we'd walk over and peek in to check on their growth: first eggs, then hatchlings, then little bodies covered with soft down. It was exciting to see the changes day by day. Soon, they had fledged and were off on their own.

At the same time, one of our "babies" was preparing to leave the nest. 

And there was grief.

Oh, lots of joy too, for these were good changes, answered prayers . . . but still. There was a grieving of sorts. A child getting married means the end of that relationship of primary confidant. I am no longer the most important person. The spouse is. And that is certainly how it should be! That is healthy and good and right and I would not want it any other way. But it is still a grieving of what has been and now has changed.

Some of the things I miss:

 ~ I miss car trips and drive-bys and running through the drive-through at our favorite coffee place.

 ~ I miss "Morning Meeting" and mochas on Saturday mornings.

 ~ I miss Kati coming in to talk to me while I cook.

 ~ I miss her great organizing skills. 

 ~ I miss her asking me for advice.

 ~ I miss seeing her pull up her hair in a ponytail in the evening.

 ~ I miss sharing giggles at midnight.

That is a little of the "bitter," but there is most definitely the "sweet." 

We are delighted when one of our children finds a soul mate, a helpmeet, when God knits two hearts together and they begin their walk through this life. Our family grows and our hearts grow to include the new spouse. Three times now, children have fledged, and oh the blessings that each change has brought!

Then there is the bittersweet of a September with no back-to-school. 

No first-day-of-school breakfast at Chick-fil-A. No first-day-of-school pictures. No new notebook with dividers. No new books to open. No lists of hymns, poets, composers, artists to learn about during Morning Time.

Yes, this is the "bitter" because I miss homeschooling! I miss the excitement of learning, the feast of ideas, the (semi) regular schedule, the togetherness, the purpose, the discipleship.

But, there is also the "sweet" as I reflect on the joys and the fruit of the season past. I realize that this season has ended naturally, and that there is a new one ahead with new work and new rewards. We are all making steps towards the future, learning to hear His voice of direction. He is faithful!

As I reflect on these days of change and the seasons of a mother's heart, I have to thank our loving Father for His mercies that are new every morning . . .

There was one morning at the beginning of the month that our son was in a serious car accident. It was a three-car chain reaction in which he was struck, and his vehicle left the road and rolled over into a field. He was injured (three broken ribs and a partially collapsed lung) and was kept in the hospital overnight. It has been a painful recovery, although he has improved and has returned to work.

That is the "bitter."

But we can certainly see the sweet, sweet mercies of God! Ryan is tall (6' 3") and his head is only inches from the top of his vehicle. But even with the rollover and the severe damage of other parts of the vehicle, the roof was intact. How very different the outcome could have been! It makes my heart flutter every time I think about it . . . and it also causes me to praise the Lord!

So as this mother muses today, I cannot help but thank Him for the beginnings and the endings, for the bitter and the sweet. It is all grace! 

I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever;
With my mouth will I make known Your faithfulness to all generations. 

Psalm 89:1

New Stepback Cupboard

As I told you last week, our three year search for a stepback cupboard for our dining room has come to an end! Yes, three years of looking in antique stores, Craigslist, and Facebook Marketplace for something with the right color, the right size, the right "presence," the right patina, the right price . . . and it had to be swoon-worthy. (Do you swoon over furniture?) 

Ron and his brother took a road trip last weekend to pick up the cupboard. (Thanks, Ron and Max!)

And Bekah and I spent the better part of the day on Monday reorganizing all of the contents of multiple pieces of furniture!

The old cabinet (here ↓↓↓) . . . 

. . . went to the sun porch, which meant that candles and table linens could not stay inside it. (Summer heat and humidity = melting and mildew.) 

So . . . candles went to the corner cupboard. Corner cupboard contents to the cabinet on the sun porch. Linens to the stepback cupboard. Paper products (napkins, plates, place cards, straws) also in the stepback cupboard. Party supplies (banners, birthday candles, crepe paper) to a drawer in the guest room. It felt kind of like a long game of musical chairs! 

This day, the table was set for our homeschool girls' book club.

It was worth the wait! 

Have you ever waited to find a specific piece of furniture? How long? 

Around the House

In the past six months or so, Thinking About Home has mostly been a blog for recording major life events: a bridal shower, a high school formal, a wedding, a graduation, a big party, milestone birthdays. Yes, it has been an eventful season! 

Maybe it's time for a little this-and-that post. Let me share a few things that are happening around the house. 

After a three year search, I have found a step back cupboard for the dining room! 

When we moved into Pineapple House, we realized that our china closet was way too big for the dining room, and the search began for a stepback cupboard. On a whim one day, we decided to move a cabinet from another room into the space and I propped an old mirror on top to give it height. 

I have been happy with that solution in the meantime, but I never gave up the search.

On a trip to Lancaster last weekend, we found it . . . the perfect piece for our dining room! It is tall enough to hold its own alongside the piano (and there is no other wall in the living space that will accommodate the piano), but narrow enough to fit in the space without feeling crowded. The color is right and the style . . . well, I'm swooning! Ron and his brother are driving up to get it tomorrow and I can't wait. 

Here's a peek at it in the Strasburg Antique Market. 

Progress is being made on the kitchen. 

Indirectly, that is. 

You may remember that our washing machine is in the kitchen? We have been remodeling the kitchen in stages (most recent updates ~here~), but from the beginning we have planned to eventually move the washing machine down to the basement. 

Last week when Ron was off, he did much of the prep work: ran electric, adapted the plumbing, installed a pump and a laundry sink. The washing machine will be heading to the basement soon! (I will miss the convenience, but I really can't wait to have it out of my kitchen!)  Then we Ron can begin to move the refrigerator in its place, adapt the cabinetry, build a lower cabinet, and install new countertop to match the rest of the kitchen. We hope to have these changes completed by the holidays. 

We have a new family member!

Bekah is thrilled! He is a stray cat from my parents' neighborhood, and they have been taking good care of him. He is still getting used to being an indoor cat, but he's making progress. He is such a sweetheart! 

We will have a special guest tonight!

We are continuing our one-at-a-time sleepovers with the grands. On their visit, they get to choose a carryout meal, a game to play and/or a movie to watch, a movie candy, and they get to sleep in the new guest room (Aunt Kati's old bedroom). Today, Bekah and I are going to a ladies' luncheon at church and then Alaine (9) will come home with us for her turn. 

Is it autumn?

I went to my friend Barbara's house for coffee yesterday, and her house looked and smelled like autumn! As I sipped my (two cups of) coffee, I was inspired to fallify my house a bit, so I picked up a white pumpkin with a great stem when I was grocery shopping. Hoping to do a little more fallifying by early next week . . . 

What's happening around your house lately? 

Celebrating Eighty Years!

We recently gathered to honor my mom for her 80th birthday! 

Years ago, Mom was babysitting a couple of neighborhood children for the day. The little boy, Curtis, asked her, "How old are you?" 

Mom: "How old do you think I am?"

Curtis: "About a million."

Mom: 😮😭

At the time, Mom was 28, which shows that you should never ask a child to guess your age. 😉

Mom, of course, is a far cry from Curtis's guess, but it has been a few years since that day when she was 28 years old!

Ryan (who asks good questions) asked Mom what was the best thing about being 80. 

"My family," said Mom. "Now that I am 80, there are more people in my family and it just keeps getting better." 

Ryan also asked her what were three highlights of her first 80 years. 

Her answers: 

1) Being saved

2) Her marriage

3) The births of her children

We asked Mom what her favorite trip was. She said that the trip to Israel had to be the first because of the spiritual significance. Her favorite "fun" trip, however, was the trip to England and Scotland with her sisters. 

Some family photos . . . 

Mom says that she never expected to live to be 80 years old!  But as part of God's plan, she did! She says she must still have work to do. I believe that too!

O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.  Psalm 71:17, 18 ESV

A Gift of Presence

What a delight to have had a few days with our Kati!! 

She came to celebrate my mom's 80th birthday (more on that soon), so some of our time together was party prep. But there was also time for relaxing and lingering chats and hanging out and hearing her heart and I am so very grateful!

(Thank you, Andrew, for allowing your bride to come home for a visit on the week that your new semester began!) 

Our Last Homeschool Graduation

And just like that . . . Bekah completed thirteen years of (home)school. 

(It really did seem "just like that.") 

I am still catching up here on the blog. Graduation was over two months ago, but it took me so long to finish my wedding posts . . .  I am probably giving you whiplash with all of this time travel. But my youngest child's graduation is too big a milestone not to record it here in the annals of Thinking About Home!

When the wedding was over, there was no time to waste!

Bekah and her friend Grace were graduating on June 8 (exactly three weeks after wedding day), so planning began in earnest. (Preliminary planning had already begun, but now it was time for action!) On Monday, we ordered graduation announcements.

We finalized the details of the ceremony, planned the menu, and went shopping for decorations. Grace's sister Lydia was creating slide shows for the two graduates, so we also needed to gather and select photos. Bekah and Grace met to design a program. I asked my friend Terri, who also did the flowers for Kati's wedding, to create an arrangement for the graduation. (Not only did she create a lovely arrangement using Bekah's graduation announcement for inspiration, but she gave it to Bekah as a graduation keepsake! Thanks, Terri!) All the while, we were cramming in that last bit of school work required for graduation! Oh yes, it was a busy time!

By God's grace, we got it done. It was all hands on deck as we did the last minute set-up and then dear family and friends began to arrive to celebrate this milestone in the lives of these beautiful girls!

Andrew surprised Bekah by arriving in his full academic regalia, bringing a little pomp and circumstance to the occasion! 

There were congregational hymn: "Be Thou My Vision" and "To God Be the Glory." Bekah's nieces and nephews sang "He Will Hold Me Fast." 

The parents of both graduates spoke about the girls and then presented them with their diplomas. (I have included the text of my talk at the end of this post.)

The slide shows were precious, a tableau of photos from babyhood to the present. Here is Bekah's:

(If it seems to jump right into the middle, it is because I have edited the title frame from the slideshow video due to the fact that I don't share any last names or any identifying information on the blog. Other than that, it's all there!)

Ron and I with our four homeschool graduates!

We took a photo of Bekah with her nieces and nephews!
(Because of the laws regarding foster care, I had to blur the sweet faces of the twin boys.)

It was a whirlwind for sure, but Bekah and her friend Grace, as well as both families, were so pleased with the beautiful graduation service! These girls have worked hard, and both are accomplished young ladies! 

And so after twenty-eight years of homeschooling, that part of my life has come to an end. It is bittersweet. But I am grateful for the years that I have had with my children, to teach, guide, inspire, grow, advise . . . and to just be with them. I wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world! 

My speech . . . 

At age 40, after a period of serious illness, I became pregnant. Although we had hoped for another child for years, this certainly seemed like the “wrong” time. It was a difficult (scary) pregnancy. I was on several medications. There was a crisis day when we believed that the baby was not going to make it. My doctor sent us for an ultrasound which showed the baby alive and well. She was born seven weeks prematurely, and she had some challenges in the first weeks and months of her life. But here she is today at her high school graduation. God had a plan for Rebekah’s life. There is a word in the Bible that I love. It is Ebenezer and it means “Thus far the Lord has helped us.” Let me give you a little background. After a series of battles with the Philistines, Samuel had called Israel to repentance and they had responded. They gathered at Mizpah...they fasted, they confessed their sin, and repented.  But as they were gathered, word came that the Philistines were again coming against them in battle. They called out to God, and Samuel offered sacrifices. The Lord answered with a "great thunder" that confused the Philistines, and Israel soundly defeated them. Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen, and called its name Ebenezer, saying "Thus far the Lord has helped us." I see this special day, this ceremony, as an Ebenezer, for as we mark this occasion, we are looking back and acknowledging that He has directed.  "Thus far the Lord has helped us." Not only did the Lord help Rebekah as a baby, but He helped her as she grew. He planned who she would be and how she would serve Him. He gave her a love for beauty. She loves great literature and pretty dresses, home décor and pretty tables. She went through a phase where she wanted me to make “dear little lunches,” and she cut out pictures of pretty food from the Pottery Barn Kids catalog. She loves poetry and old movies and Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly. He gave her an ear for music and a song in her heart. Kati taught her to play a Christmas carol on the piano when she was six, and she has never stopped playing. There was the one day when we went to the local playground and I heard the chimes in the playground ringing out Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy” and I knew our Rebekah was playing. She learned to play classical music which is beautiful and soul-stirring. Oh, but the hymns. Many is the time when I have asked her to play a hymn and then another and then more as we sang along, hearts moved, tears flowing, souls encouraged. “Thus far, the Lord has helped us.” He made her heart tender. Toddler Rebekah was a character and her sin nature was strong. She had temper tantrums and meltdowns and she challenged everything that we thought we knew about parenting. But then we saw glimpses of tenderness . . . towards animals, towards babies, towards others . . . and we knew that the Lord would draw that tender heart to Himself. Now Bekah is for the underdog, she adores her nieces and nephews, and, most importantly, she loves the Lord and seeks to please Him. “Thus far, the Lord has helped us.” As a homeschooling mom, I needed the Lord’s help! In some ways, Bekah was the most challenging of my students . . . perhaps because she is the most like me. The two of us struggle with procrastination and time management. We’re both slow. We can dawdle our way through our days. It was not unusual for Ron to come home from work to find us still reading, or to find Bekah working on her math or some other project. But the Lord did help us. As we sought His help, He guided our steps, helped as we planned our courses, provided opportunities for Bekah to learn and serve in unique ways. In spite of ourselves, Bekah is a young woman who is accomplished and responsible and has deep faith in Jesus. I really can hardly believe we are here, at the end of this leg of the journey. At the end of your homeschooling years, Bekah.  At the end of my homeschooling years. Oh, how I have treasured these days and all of the time we have spent and learned and grown together. Bekah, I know that the future is still unsure for you and you still have hard choices and decisions to make. But I am not worried. Our loving Father knows your future and he will continue to help . . . one step at a time. “But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.” (II Timothy 3:14, 15)

Ron's speech . . . 

The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”  We began our homeschool in September of 1991, and as of yesterday, we completed our 28th year of training our children in the way they should go.  For us, this has been a great experience. Not only have they learned many things, but we have learned many things as well.  What does it mean to train up a child? One commentator says that to train up a child refers to the total process of molding a child’s life. The word “train” comes from the root word meaning “to put into the mouth,” which implies the idea of conditioning the palate. Thus, potential training should help children develop a taste for the things of God. “When he is old” simply means “when he is grown up.” The verse stresses the single principle that education in the home forms the person throughout their lifetime. As we stand here today, we truly feel that Bekah has been trained in the academics as well as the ways of God. We have no regrets and feel that we have prepared her for the rest of her life. Though this is the end of her schooling from us, she has the skills to continue to learn for the rest of her life.  To us, a child is a wonderful gift. With this gift comes a great responsibility. Who better can teach and train a child than we parents? We thank the Lord for all of His blessings.