The Hidden Art of Homemaking {Chapter 14: Environment}

Environment is crucial for the homemaker. There are many things about our environment that we cannot change, but there is so much that we can affect! In fact, those things that we can affect can make a world of difference to those around us. 

I agree that our influence on the physical environment of the home is important. I think that an orderly, tidy home is peaceful and inspires creative thinking more than one that is in disarray. Maybe it's just me, but I can think better without the distraction of clutter and messes. I don't mean the messiness of current projects. I don't mean a pristine environment in which one is hesitant to do anything to mess it up! I do mean general order and space to think. 

Reading this chapter has caused me to boost my efforts in my physical environment this week. I hate to admit this, but I had gotten lazy in the habit of making my bed every day. My bedroom is upstairs and is rarely seen by anyone outside the family. We have been purging and reorganizing different areas of the house this summer, and so I have let other things go. But as I read Mrs. Schaeffer's words about producing an environment that other people have to live in, I decided to give greater attention to the basics before jumping into a project for the day. A tidy bedroom with a freshly made bed is a "basic" and really doesn't take much time overall. It's the little things. 

Even more important than the physical environment, however, is the "tone" of the home, and I believe that that is one of the homemaker's chief responsibilities.  

I have written about this before. Perhaps you'd allow me to share something that I wrote about "setting the tone" a while back in my series 31 Days to Make a House a Home...

The woman (wife and/or mother) has the power to set the tone in the home. I have never liked the phrase, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Not because I doubt the truth of the statement, but because it is usually said in a flip manner by someone who thinks that that is funny. The image is that of a family cowering because Mama is displeased. Funny? Not really. I believe that a woman has tremendous power to influence the attitudes of those in her home. I am not denying the headship of the man; I believe wholeheartedly that the husband/father is the authority in the home. He is responsible to lead, to teach, to protect, and to love. But...if I am frazzled, or angry, or blue... if I am ungrateful, or discontent, or grumpy... then I can see the effect that those attitudes have on my husband and children.   And that is sobering.   But...if I am encouraging, and hopeful, and worshipful... if I am faithful, and patient, and meek... then I can also see the effects of those attitudes ripple through my home.  Yes, I believe that a mama sets the tone for her household. A while back, I blogged about a book that we were reading, and how a particular passage impacted me:  We have been reading The Yearling, written by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings in 1938. In this coming of age story, the Baxter family—Penny, Ora, and twelve-year-old Jody—live a hard life in the Florida scrub region at the turn of the century. It is November, and the first frost has come to the scrub. The Baxters are in the “front room”, enjoying the first hearth-fire of the year, Penny smoking his pipe, Ora sewing, Jody lying on the floor in front of the fire, daydreaming. Ma Baxter said, "Now throw a stick on the fire. I cain't quite see to foller my seams. She had cut down a pair of Penny’s winter breeches for Jody. She said, “Now take another notion to grow like you done this spring, and I’ll be cuttin’ down your breeches to fit your daddy.” Jody laughed out loud and Penny pretended to be offended. Then his eyes twinkled in the firelight and his thin shoulders shook. Ma Baxter rocked complacently. They were all pleased whenever she made a joke.Her good nature made the same difference in the house as the hearth-fire had made in the chill of the evening.  If you are familiar with this story, you know that Ora is a hard woman, who fusses, criticizes, and has a sharp tongue.  Life has been hard for her--she has lost six children before Jody is born, the family is always on the edge of having enough to get by on, they work extremely hard and have constant set-backs--and she has been hardened by it.  In the passage that I quoted above, however, Ora is in an unusually good humor, and that is why her family is so much enjoying the evening spent in front of the fire.  Their spirits are lightened because "Mama is happy."  "Her good nature made the same difference in the house as the hearth-fire had made in the chill of the evening." The first time I visited my dear friend Debbie at no spring chicken, I was struck by this quote by Laura Ingalls Wilder that Debbie has in her blog header:  "Let's be cheerful!  We have no more right to steal the brightness out of the day for our own family than we have to steal the purse of a stranger.  Let us be as careful that our homes are furnished with pleasant and happy thoughts as we are that the rugs are the right color and texture and the furniture comfortable and beautiful!" Most of us would be horrified at the thought of stealing the purse of a stranger, but are we ever guilty of stealing the brightness out of the day for our families?  I must insert here that I am not saying that we should not be "real".  There is a right time for sorrow and grief, for sadness and tears.  I am not suggesting that we waltz about with our insincere smiles, pretending that everything is great when it isn't.  It is neither real, nor truthful, nor helpful to do such a thing. What I am saying is that our attitudes should reflect His grace, and when they do not, then we are robbing our families of brightness.  Even in sorrow, there can be the brightness of hope.  In tears, there can be brightness of encouragement.  In need, there can be the brightness of reassurance.  In everything, there can be a heart of thankfulness. I do not write this post from the perspective of a woman who has mastered this, this gift and this responsibility of setting the tone.  I am afraid that I am not always that gentle heart and encouraging presence that is my ideal.  Sometimes I get annoyed.  Sometimes I have a chip on my shoulder, or an offended spirit.  But I write about this concept because I believe it to be true.  A woman sets the tone in her home.  So how do I go about setting the proper tone, or being that gentle, edifying presence? Hear the wise words of my daughter-in-law, Sarah: I find that it does no good to simply 'resolve' to be more pleasant and full of grace. It's the Lord's grace that allows me to be gracious to my family and His mercy that keeps me from my self. I believe that is the answer!  Accepting the Lord's grace for us, and extending that to the members of my family. This week, will you join me in extending His great grace to our husbands and children?  Will you allow Him to help you set the tone in your home?

 

This concludes the book club discussion of The Hidden Art of Homemaking at Ordo Amoris...
Thank you so much, Cindy, for hosting all of this stimulating conversation!

Click ~here~ for all the posts in the discussion. 

The Hidden Art of Homemaking {Chapter 13: Integration}

It's summer, I'm a stay-at-home mom, and our homeschool is not in session.  So why am I having a hard time getting everything done? I hope you're not expecting me to answer this question, because I am still trying to figure it out myself. But the truth of it is that I am behind, at least in my expectations. 

I missed last week's book club post, so I am going to publish two posts today, to finish up the last two chapters of The Hidden Art of Homemaking.

Chapter 13: Integration

While Mrs. Schaeffer begins this chapter with that great day when people from "all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues" will be before the throne of God in worship (Rev. 7:8-10), she ends it with a practical view of how integration can look in the home, as "hidden art." As we do not live in a perfect world, but one that is marred by sin and by separation on many levels, the home is one place in which we can integrate (bring together) people. 

Mrs. Schaeffer focuses on the age segregation which is so prevalent in our society, our churches, and even our homes. It is the "norm" to divide people according to their ages. As long time homeschoolers, we no longer see that as "normal" but have embraced a more natural (and I do mean natural) lifestyle of age integration, one in which all ages (from the littlest grandchild to the great-grandparents) are included and respected. Although the children often eat at their own table (mostly because we don't have one table big enough to seat everyone, and they like to sit together), that is where it ends. I am also thankful for a home fellowship in which everyone is included and we break Bread together, both literally and figuratively. So much is lost when each generation is banished to its own corner. How do the younger ones glean the wisdom of the ages? How are the older ones inspired by the youth? How is a broad spectrum of ideas and relationships encouraged if we do not share time and space?

I could easily go on and on about this (in fact, whole books have been written about this very subject), but I will stop here and move on to the final chapter.

 

Continuing the book club discussion of The Hidden Art of Homemaking at Ordo Amoris...

Click ~here~ for all the posts in the discussion. 

The Hidden Art of Homemaking {Chapter 12: Clothing}

So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.   Matthew 6:28, 29 NKJV

We are instructed not to worry about clothing, but to trust God for its provision. However, Mrs. Schaeffer suggests that if we consider the flowers (as Jesus invited us to consider), we will be amazed at the beauty, the variety, the amazing splendor of color, shape, and form that is to be seen. The Master Artist, our Creator, has arrayed the flowers in glory!  

 As Christians, we know that true beauty is not simply what one looks like on the outside. 

Your adornment must not be merely external...but let it be the inner person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.  I Peter 3:3, 4 NASB

When my two oldest children were in a 4-H club for homeschoolers, a visitor once remarked to one of the moms about the beauty of her daughter.  The mom simply replied, "As long as she is beautiful inside." I have often thought of the wisdom of this mother, who declared that inner beauty was more valuable.
Yes, inner beauty is "precious in the sight of God", and we know that He "looks on the heart" (I Samuel 16:7). But does that mean that we should neglect external beauty altogether?  Mrs. Schaeffer asks this question:

...is there any reason why a child of the One who designed, created, brought forth and clothed the flowers should set out to look ugly and drab? Are we representing him by being unattractive?

What are some ways that the homemaker can display creativity in clothing herself and her family?

Certainly, sewing clothes would come under the category of creativity. I have made some clothing for my daughters (and some for my grandchildren), and it is a joy to see them wear something that I have created...a calico dress with a crisp white collar, a pink gingham flannel nightgown, a romper sewn in a garden print and "leaf" buttons. I have not mastered the art of creating clothing suitable for adults. My talents lie mainly with "cute."

Knitting or crocheting clothing is a beautiful form of creativity. I would love to learn to knit, but I am an old dog who had difficulty learning that new trick. My two younger daughters have learned to knit some, and have made hats and scarves. We are all a long way off from being able to create that cable knit sweater my son has always wanted.

Can a homemaker still be creative with clothing even if she doesn't make clothes from scratch?  I think so.

fabric flower on a Walmart dress

My girls and I have had fun embellishing ready-made clothes. Adding a fabric flower, someribbon, a bit of cross-stitch, a touch of embroidery...all are ways of adding a creative and personal touch. Often such details are the difference in inexpensive and boutique-style clothing, so you can save a bunch by adding the special touches yourself.



Speaking of cost...I think that it takes great creativity to clothe yourself and your family beautifully on a budget!

There were years when we had no money, and yet my children were always clothed well, and the casual observer would not have known that we were dirt poor by how my children were dressed. My parents bought them something beautiful to wear as part of their birthday gift. We would also go shopping before Christmas and Easter, and Mom would buy them a nice outfit. In between, we shopped yard sales and took advantage of hand-me-downs. We scoured the bargain racks. I found a wonderful gently used children's clothing shop. On a couple of occasions, I purchased some beautiful church dresses from ladies in our church who had older daughters.

Old habits die hard, and even today when we are no longer dirt poor, I very rarely buy anything that is not on sale. Now it's more like a treasure hunt...and it's great fun to find a bargain and dress on-the-cheap.

Creativity can also be putting outfits together with color and accessories.  

Scarves, jewelry,shoes, purses, jackets, layers...all ways to create an outfit and stretch the wardrobe.

Lastly, creativity is individual style!

Bekah is a dress girl (like her Gammy). She has always loved dresses. As a small girl, she wouldn't

even wear pajama pants, only a nightgown! I respected her need to express her individual style, but

there were a few really cold days in which I insisted that she wear pants to keep her legs warm...and she had an emotional meltdown! I had a brainstorm and bought her several pairs of leggings to wear with her beloved dresses...and the struggle was over. (Whew!) At 12 years old, she still wears mostly dresses, but she has added jeans to her wardrobe for certain occasions...and she doesn't cry when she wears them.  :)

See my "hiking clothes"?

For me, jeans are my wardrobe. I dress them up, dress them down, wear lots of black and pops of color. My family laughed at me when we went hiking in Maine. I was wearing jeans, a black shirt with a ruffled front, and a purple sweater (for which I had paid $5.00 on clearance at...yep, Target). Those were my hiking clothes.  (And any-other-day clothes.)


Kati also wears mostly jeans, but with cute colorful shirts. She knows what she likes, and when she finds the right thing, she buys it in multiples. This summer she bought six(!) of the same shirt in different colors and prints.

Kristin has more variety in her wardrobe than the rest of us. She wears dresses, skirts, skinny jeans (in my dreams!), layers, and lots of color, and she is great at accessorizing.

Kristin and her girls

Kati in one of the 6 shirts :)

What do you think about clothing and creativity? Does it matter? Do you think much about clothing?

 

Continuing the book club discussion of The Hidden Art of Homemaking at Ordo Amoris...

Click ~here~ for all the posts in the discussion. 

The Hidden Art of Homemaking {Chapter 11: Creative Recreation}

I suppose I should begin my ramblings on this chapter by sharing Mrs. Schaeffer's definition of "creative recreation."

Firstly, it is recreation which produces creative results, stimulates creativity, refreshes one's ideas and stirs one to 'produce'.  Secondly, it is recreation which is the result of original ideas, creative because someone has creatively planned an evening, a day, an occupation which in itself is fresh and different.

Next, I will confess that I am not a nature girl.  Never have been.  Even as a child, I was more often found inside with my nose in a book or playing paper dolls or sewing clothes for my Barbies than I was found outside looking at bugs or gazing at the stars or digging in the earth.  

So when the first half of this chapter was all  about getting out of our "insulation" of walls and taking walks for miles (miles!) across fields and beside lakes and over hills and maybe even taking a sleeping bag and sleeping under the stars wherever the walk has taken you...  Well, I must confess that these pages made me squirm uncomfortably in my arm chair in my air conditioned haven.  

When I have taken the time and the effort to "get out" of my comfort zone, it has always been well-rewarded.  When we take off for the day (or for a few hours) and go to the park, or take a hike, or lie on a blanket in the back yard and find constellations, I always wonder why I don't take the time more often.  It is my ideal, but I rarely get there. 

One particular school year, I had determined that we would go on a nature walk once a week.  That doesn't sound like a lot, does it?  On week two, Kati nearly stepped on a snake, and we lost our resolve to go on nature walks. I know that sounds pathetic to some of you nature gals (and Charlotte Mason mamas who are reading this because of Cindy's book club), but that is the reality of it.*

Now that my confessions are made, I can agree wholeheartedly with Mrs. Schaeffer that children and adults alike would be far better served by creative recreation than by sitting passively in front of the television for hours at a time.  We have never been a "no TV" family, but we have always had strict limitations on viewing--on the quality of the programming, of course, but also on the quantity.  Even good television shows and movies can dull the brain if they replace other pursuits.  (We remove time limitations under certain circumstances such as illness.)  

For young children, I prefer open-ended toys.  By open-ended, I mean that the toy is not a specific character nor must it be played with in a certain way.  Open-ended toys encourage imagination and creativity, not simply a recreation of someone else's imagination.  Blocks (wooden, Lego, foam) are a perfect example.  Blocks can be anything...houses, farms, cities, bridges, tents, forts, people, food.  A box of dress-up supplies are open-ended and encourage all sorts of imaginative play.  Craft and art supplies also supply creative fun.  

Ryan played for hours at a time with his little Fisher Price people and the barn and town. They survived the test of time and now belong to his children.  

Bekah played for hours at a time with her Fisher Price doll house. Just last week, it was packed up and taken to the attic to wait for her own children.  She also loved her Woodkins, which she played with in church. 

I think that "creative recreation" can also include

• playing with and caring for pets
• performing skits
• playing house or town or doctor
• playing games
• jigsaw puzzles
• sewing, knitting, crocheting
• building
• gardening
• drawing, painting sketching
• playing an instrument, writing music

All of these are thoughtful or meaningful or productive ways to spend one's time.  

I warned you that this was going to be a rambling post!  Ramble I have...and now I'm just going to land.  

* Although I am an "indoor" person, my husband is an "outdoor" person, and some of my children are too!

Do you have any thoughts on creative recreation?

 

Continuing the book club discussion of The Hidden Art of Homemaking at Ordo Amoris...

Click ~here~ for all the posts in the discussion. 

The Hidden Art of Homemaking {Chapter 10: Drama}

Looking ahead to Chapter 10 of The Hidden Art of Homemaking, I expected to have absolutely nothing to blog about. Drama? In homemaking? I was racking my brain to think if there was any small way that I had employed drama in my thirty-five years of keeping a home. The kids act out the Christmas story every year. I wonder if that counts. We have had Shakespeare reading days at our house a few times. But surely Mrs. Schaeffer did not mean that. How many people have done such a thing? 

Then I read the chapter. 

And I'm all over it!  

Because Mrs. Schaeffer says: 

"Reading aloud is the best outlet that I know of for hidden dramatic ability. It is the best development for speaking ability, and the least complicated exercise for the use of one's voice and expression."

And the rest of the chapter is about just that...reading aloud!

The author proposes that reading aloud fills two purposes. It is an outlet for any dramatic ability (latent or otherwise) that one has. But, even more importantly, reading aloud, sharing words together, builds family unity.

"The plea for women to have 'time to be themselves' or 'time for fulfilling careers' is overworked....If people were less anxious to join a drama club or some other kind of 'fulfill yourself' activity and used their talents right in their homes, they would not only be more fulfilled when the children were two years old and they were capturing their attention with vivid and original ideas, but when the same children were eighteen years old they would not be wringing their hands so tragically at the complete lack of communication with them."

Mrs. Schaeffer speaks of "sculpting a life" and that such "art" is a slow process and takes place over a number of years.  

My mother read to me. I have wonderful memories of the magical revolving book rack at the grocery store, filled with Little Golden books., many of which found their way into our home. I also remember Mom taking me to the basement of our local library, which is where the children's books were located, and together we'd uncover treasures. Through reading, Mom introduced me to Curious George and Impatient Jonathan and Amelia Bedelia and Ramona. I heard nursery rhymes and "Animal Crackers and Cocoa to Drink" and "The Swing." She also read the Book of books, the Bible.

I have always read to my children.  I love, love to read aloud. 

I read to my babies, books like The Good Night Book, Where's Spot?, and Pat the Bunny. 

I read to my toddlers and preschoolers.  Make Way for Ducklings. Are You My Mother? The Tale of Peter Rabbit. Picture books galore. Charlotte's Web. Little House in the Big Woods. 

One of 3-year-old Kristin's favorites was The Berenstain Bears Go to the Doctor. This one lent itself to lots of expression and a bit of drama as Papa Bear boasts that he "never gets sick," all the while sneezing increasingly louder throughout the story. One day,  Kristin picked up and "read" this book to her baby brother Ryan. I listened in, waiting for her to reach an end of the parts she knew. I was amazed to discover that she could "read" the entire book verbatim, using great expression and all the correct inflections!  

I read to my school-aged children. All-of-a-Kind Family. The Wind in the Willows. Socks. The Birds' Christmas Carol. Heidi. Peter Pan. Chapter books galore. 

I read for (home) school. Yes, even when the children were old enough to read independently, I still kept a read aloud (or two) going. Carry On, Mr. Bowditch. Paddle-to-the-Sea. Abraham Lincoln's World. Mary Jemison: Indian Captive. The Last of the Mohicans. The Yearling. A Tale of Two Cities. Biographies galore. Literature, even more.

I read aloud as family entertainment/enjoyment/learning.  (Where does one end and another begin?) When choosing family read alouds, we usually read something that Ron has chosen. His selections bring some male influence into our reading, and he sometimes chooses books that we may not have read otherwise. The Swiss Family Robinson. Drake: The Man They Called a Pirate. Daniel Boone: The Opening of the Wilderness. 

We have continued family read alouds as long as the "children" are physically present. And I hope that Ron and I will continue to enjoy reading together even after the last child has left the nest!

Like Mrs. Schaeffer, I believe that sharing a book by reading it aloud is a wonderful way to create family memories, learn together, and collect a treasure trove of shared knowledge and stories.  

"Hidden" (Almost Literally) Art

My Bekah (12) knows how to take things "to the next level."

The girls and I made origami boats to add to the nautical decorations for our Father's Day table.

After we made all that we needed, Bekah kept making boats. She decided to see if she could make one with a post-it note...and then a large one...and then a smaller one...and an even smaller one.

By the time she was finished, she had her own fleet.

Did you see this one?

It is quite possibly the world's smallest origami boat. 

Did I mention that she knows how to take things to the next level?

The Hidden Art of Homemaking {Chapter 9: Writing--Prose and Poetry}

Writing as thoughtful communication is another one of the hidden arts of homemaking. Not many of us are published authors, but any of us can express ideas or emotion or creativity through the written word.

I have thought many times that it is easier to communicate through the written word than through the spoken word. 

I say this as someone who panics when the situation calls for speaking "off the cuff." For years I'd hang up on answering machines. There was entirely too much pressure to say something coherent to an inanimate object with no time to prepare my words. Ron, who speaks on the phone a good part of every work day and thus could not understand my stage fright, convinced me that I could leave a simple message and the world would go on. I do leave messages now, but I still panic and stumble and stammer and leave the impression that I am brainless. 

Should I tell you about the time I was making a series of phone calls about a club meeting? I got to Betty Smith's name on my list, but when I dialed Betty's number, the voice that answered didn't sound like Betty's.  

"Hello, is Betty there?" I asked. 

"This is Betty," the voice answered.

"Betty Smith?" I ask, still not convinced.

"Yes, it is," replied the voice.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I have the wrong number."

What?! Did I really do that? 

I'm afraid I did.  And then I had to call Betty back and confess my "error" because I knew that I would be seeing her again and wouldn't be able to look her in the eye.  

I am not the only one who freaks out under such pressure. My brother-in-law has a similar problem at drive-through windows. He once ordered "two spicy chicks" while his family laughed so hard they were wheezing. 

All that to say, I am most able to articulate what I want to say if I can write it. 

When writing, I can ponder. I can carefully choose my words. I can ruminate a while and then write it down and then consider. I can change it up if it doesn't say what I want to say. 

I can express my feelings without embarrassment or hesitation. I can have my say without something or someone interrupting the flow. I can say what is in my heart.

Writing is also a more enduring method of communication. 

I like this old Chinese proverb...

The faintest ink is more powerful than the strongest memory.

I don't get "stage fright" when I talk to my family or to close friends, but even then there is value in the written word. 

I enjoy reading papers that I wrote for high school and college, revealing who I was then and what I was thinking. 

As a young mom, I once sat down in the midst of a very messy house and wrote an essay based on Proverbs 14:4..."where no oxen are, the crib is clean." I have searched high and low and cannot find it, but I'd love to see it again and remember those days.

I value the handwritten notes on birthday cards, some of them from those who have gone on. I enjoy reading old letters and thank you notes from family and friends.

I love reading old love letters from my husband. 

I loved hearing the love letter that Ron's father had written to his mother. 

I treasure the sweet notes and cards written in a child's handwriting, complete with misspelled words. 

And so I have marked several occasions with letters of my own. A letter to Ron one Valentine's Day. A letter to my mother one Mother's Day, and to my father one Father's Day.  A letter to my faraway granddaughter Eve on her second birthday.

There is more that I should write... 

 

Continuing the book club discussion of The Hidden Art of Homemaking at Ordo Amoris...

Click ~here~ for all the posts in the discussion. 

The Hidden Art of Homemaking {Chapter 8: Food}

I tentatively blogged my way through the chapters on sketching and gardening and flower arranging, wondering whether I'd have anything substantive to say. (I managed to find plenty to say anyway. No comments from Ron, please.) 

But this chapter about food has challenged me in a different way.  I have so much to say!  And much of it, I have already said in the four years that I have been blogging. 

First of all, let me say that I found myself nodding my head in agreement over and over as I read Mrs. Schaeffer's words. She takes mealtime seriously, from the variety of flavor, texture, and appearance of the food that is served, to the arrangement of the plate and the table, to the atmosphere surrounding the meal.

Here are some of the passages that had me nodding...

"Cooking should not be thought of as a drudgery, but as an art."

Yes!

"To 'help cook' is one of the most enjoyable things of childhood - to say nothing of being a sure way of producing good cooks."

Indeed! I have seen this with each of my children. When I included the children in the tossing in of ingredients or the stirring of the soup or the kneading of the bread or the chopping of the carrots, we enjoyed memory-making moments. Not that it is always the "easy" thing to do with youngsters. In the beginning years, it takes longer and it is messier to include them. But in the end, you're doing yourself a favor. Both of my older girls love to bake. My son loves to grill and can make a mean omelet. And my youngest (12) has come into her own in the kitchen this year.

"Food should be chosen for nutritive values, of course, but also to give variety and interest to meals. Food should be chosen to give pleasure, and to cheer up people after a hard day's work, to comfort them when they feel down for some reason, to amuse them when things seem a bit dull, or to open up conversation when they feel silent and uncommunicative."

Yes again! Is it a part of the mother-heart that likes to feed her young...even when they're no longer "young"? I see that in my mother-in-law who feeds something to my husband whenever he comes for any reason. I see it in my mother too, and I see it in myself. 

"Being challenged by what a difference her cooking and her way of serving is going to make in the family life gives a woman an opportunity to approach this with the feeling of painting a picture or writing a symphony."

I love this! This seemingly mundane chore can be elevated to art!

"The cook in the home has opportunity to be doing something very real in the area of making good human relationships."

And that is one of the ideas that I have proposed several times in my years of blogging. It is what I believe, and it is what I teach the two girls who are still living at home...
Mealtime is about more than the food. 
It is about a gathering of family. A time to connect. A place to tell stories. A place to share values. Allow me to share what I wrote about mealtime a while back in my series 31 Days to Make a House a Home...

Perhaps one of the surest ways to make a house a home is to make the dinner hour a priority.  Family mealtimes are a priority at our house...always have been, always will be.  There is just something about that time when everyone comes together, sits around the table, and shares a meal.  And it's not just about the food.  We connect at meal time...not only a physical connection, in that we're all in the same place at the same time, but a relational one. We share conversation.  We talk about the details of our day.  We talk about the upcoming birthday party.  We talk about what we learned in our homeschool read aloud, or who we saw at the grocery store, or what we want to watch on movie night.  We talk about the Bible passages that Mr. Phil read on Sunday and the discussion that followed. We share family history and family stories.  Dinner topics often lead to stories of our younger years.  This is how our kids learn about our lives, and the lives of their grandparents and great-grandparents, and thus, they discover their own history.  (Since there is such an age difference on our four children, we often discover that there are stories that the younger two have not yet heard.) We share our values in the daily gathering at the dinner table.  Values are communicated in the honest, open day-to-day talk. We share time together, simply enjoying one another's company.  Shared mealtimes encourage family unity. We enjoy stillness and respite.  The dinner hour is a time to slow down the pace, a time to relax.  It's a time to feed the body and the soul. Dinnertime is an anchor for the day. Sometimes mealtime is lively.  There is laughter and engaging conversation.  Sometimes mealtime is quiet.  People are pensive...or just plain tired. Sometimes meals are special, wonderful food served on a beautifully set table. Sometimes the meal is canned soup and grilled cheese sandwiches (or leftovers, as it was last night). But a meal that is shared by a family (whether that family is one with a table full of children, or a couple whose children have grown*) is a special occasion of grace and blessing. Consistently sharing meal time is an important part of making a house a home.

That said, it is worth the effort to make ordinary mealtime a special occasion. 
Do what is appropriate for your season of life. If you are a mother whose children are all young, you will have neither time nor energy to prepare gourmet meals. But you can serve a colorful plate of simple foods and place a dandelion bouquet in the center of the table. If your children are teenagers who work during the evening, your family may not be able to dine together every night. But you can make the nights when everyone is together extra special. And be sure to share the meal with those who are present on the other nights...there are no unimportant guests at our dinner table.

I could go on. (I told you I had a lot to say!) But perhaps I'll just direct you to some of my musings about mealtimes that I have shared in the past. Then it's up to you whether or not you read any more...

Set a Pretty Table  The "hidden art" of a pretty table...and not just for company. Plan to Eat  Planning is half the battle. Turn Off the TV! This one is about distractions at mealtime. Mealtime Traditions  Some practical ideas for making mealtimes special. An Ordinary Tradition  Friday nights at our house. A Breakfast Request  In which Bekah wants some pretty food. Packing Lunches Bekah Style  In which Bekah again wants some pretty food. Setting the Table for Resurrection Sunday  I take you step-by-step through an easy-peasy holiday table setting plan.

 

If you're interested in this book discussion, you may read along as I usually do 

(click ~here~ for all the posts in the discussion), 

or join in the discussion yourself!

(Click ~here~ for details on how to participate.)