A Mother's Musings: Changes and New Mercies

It has been an exciting and bittersweet year. 

There have been so many beginnings and endings in our world these past months, making a mother's heart flutter. 

This past spring, we watched a nest of baby robins in a rhododendron in our backyard. As we came and went, we'd walk over and peek in to check on their growth: first eggs, then hatchlings, then little bodies covered with soft down. It was exciting to see the changes day by day. Soon, they had fledged and were off on their own.

At the same time, one of our "babies" was preparing to leave the nest. 

And there was grief.

Oh, lots of joy too, for these were good changes, answered prayers . . . but still. There was a grieving of sorts. A child getting married means the end of that relationship of primary confidant. I am no longer the most important person. The spouse is. And that is certainly how it should be! That is healthy and good and right and I would not want it any other way. But it is still a grieving of what has been and now has changed.

Some of the things I miss:

 ~ I miss car trips and drive-bys and running through the drive-through at our favorite coffee place.

 ~ I miss "Morning Meeting" and mochas on Saturday mornings.

 ~ I miss Kati coming in to talk to me while I cook.

 ~ I miss her great organizing skills. 

 ~ I miss her asking me for advice.

 ~ I miss seeing her pull up her hair in a ponytail in the evening.

 ~ I miss sharing giggles at midnight.

That is a little of the "bitter," but there is most definitely the "sweet." 

We are delighted when one of our children finds a soul mate, a helpmeet, when God knits two hearts together and they begin their walk through this life. Our family grows and our hearts grow to include the new spouse. Three times now, children have fledged, and oh the blessings that each change has brought!

Then there is the bittersweet of a September with no back-to-school. 

No first-day-of-school breakfast at Chick-fil-A. No first-day-of-school pictures. No new notebook with dividers. No new books to open. No lists of hymns, poets, composers, artists to learn about during Morning Time.

Yes, this is the "bitter" because I miss homeschooling! I miss the excitement of learning, the feast of ideas, the (semi) regular schedule, the togetherness, the purpose, the discipleship.

But, there is also the "sweet" as I reflect on the joys and the fruit of the season past. I realize that this season has ended naturally, and that there is a new one ahead with new work and new rewards. We are all making steps towards the future, learning to hear His voice of direction. He is faithful!

As I reflect on these days of change and the seasons of a mother's heart, I have to thank our loving Father for His mercies that are new every morning . . .

There was one morning at the beginning of the month that our son was in a serious car accident. It was a three-car chain reaction in which he was struck, and his vehicle left the road and rolled over into a field. He was injured (three broken ribs and a partially collapsed lung) and was kept in the hospital overnight. It has been a painful recovery, although he has improved and has returned to work.

That is the "bitter."

But we can certainly see the sweet, sweet mercies of God! Ryan is tall (6' 3") and his head is only inches from the top of his vehicle. But even with the rollover and the severe damage of other parts of the vehicle, the roof was intact. How very different the outcome could have been! It makes my heart flutter every time I think about it . . . and it also causes me to praise the Lord!

So as this mother muses today, I cannot help but thank Him for the beginnings and the endings, for the bitter and the sweet. It is all grace! 

I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever;
With my mouth will I make known Your faithfulness to all generations. 

Psalm 89:1