As the name of my blog indicates, I spend a lot of time thinking about home. Of course, my Heavenly Home is the one that is eternal, so that’s where I need to lay up my treasures, and that’s the one I’m striving for. But in the meantime, I have been given this tiny piece of the here-and-now—this home on the edge of town, this family, this neighborhood—in which to serve Him. And, though this is in the earthly realm, I want the things that happen here to be investments in the Heavenly realm.

Saturday, April 29, 2017

What Do You Go By?

Sometimes a little social anxiety gets in the way of your brain. 

A few years ago, I was chatting with one of Ron's cousins at a family reunion. Attempting to bring Bekah into the conversation, Karla turned to her and said, "Hi, Rebekah." And then, "What do you go by?" 

I looked at Bekah, waiting for what seemed like a very long time for her to answer such a simple question. She looked a little panicky and finally stumbled out, "I don't know."


I supplied the answer for Karla. "She goes by Bekah." 

Later, I asked Bekah why in the world she had said she didn't know what her name was! She explained to me that what she had heard was, "What do you go buy?" and she didn't know how to answer that! We both laughed, imagining what Karla would have thought if she had answered, "Dresses." Or "Books." 


I think that one of the reasons I like to write is that I can ponder what I am going to say. I can get my thoughts together, consider, weigh my words, change wording, clarify...even start all over if it's not right. 

Not so with speaking. 

On more than one occasion, my mouth brain has failed me and I have blurted out the wrong thing. (I shared one such story in this postCan you even believe it?)

Then there was the time that I was in 10th grade and was going on a field trip. I was sitting on the bus as more students piled on and found seats. I looked up and getting on the bus was the cutest guy in my school! And the seat beside me was empty. It was my lucky day! 

So there I sat, knowing that Mr. Cutest-Guy-in-My-School could very well choose that seat because it was the first free seat he would come to on the nearly full bus. I saw him glance over at the empty seat. (Yay!) As he got closer, I imagined him saying, "Is anyone sitting here?" and I was so very prepared to say "No!" in my perkiest voice. 

Just as he had in my imagination, he stopped there at the empty seat. (Woo hoo!) He looked at me (swoon) and said, "Can I sit here?" 

And I (in the perky voice that I had rehearsed in my head) said, "No!" 

No. I didn't just say that! He hadn't read the script! He was supposed to say, "Is anyone sitting here?" 

Wait a minute, Mr. Cute! I meant, "No one is sitting here!" Please come back! 

But he had already moved on toward the back of the bus.

Yep. Bekah gets it honest.

Sometimes a little social anxiety gets in the way of your brain. 


  1. My awkward answer to the question in yellow might be, "You mean I don't look pretty other days?" I get this post completely. My husband can "talk on his feet" as we say, he can answer questions on a panel without preparation, etc. When I speak in front of others I need every word written down. Yes, that's why some of us love and prefer writing!

  2. I prefer writing too so I can think about it and perhaps change it. Once out of the mouth, it's there forever. Of course writing can also be there forever (thinking of Homer or Shakespeare). I enjoy teaching but then I already know what I'm going to say (and I'm in charge!). I had to laugh at your little story. It's something I would do.

  3. Cheryl, I can so relate! Where do these words come from? I love what Bekah heard--It's what I hear all the time from folks. Grayden and I have these conversations sometimes and we have to laugh at where that came from. Your bus adventure is precious and-written love letters are the sweetest! ♥

  4. Hahahaha...thoroughly enjoyed this post as I did the others you linked to...wept in all the appropriate places and laughed. I even thought of the same stories to share, but found that I already had, right down to John's meltdown in Subway.

    But this may amuse you. My phone rang and so I started up from the recliner in my old, decrepit way and just as I answered the line went dead. It was Laurel. I returned the call and said, "You hung up on me." Big sigh. "Must you make it so personal, Mother? It went to message." Oh dear. I have so many communication missteps. I far prefer writing and can still get THAT wrong.

    1. No it went to voicemail...see? I have it and I have it bad.

  5. 'What do you go by' is not an expression that we ever use here, so I would have wondered what it meant too!

  6. Oh boy, I do have these awkward moments. More lately as my hearing seems to be sketchy especially in large crowded areas. Hope you have a weekend with no social anxiety in it! :)

  7. Oh dear, what if you had said "yes" to the cutest boy in school? Like that book which says a butterfly fluttering its wings in the Amazon can affect a whole chain of things.

  8. I laughed out loud! Oh, my. I can talk pretty well off the cuff, but I do hate leaving a message! I feel like I stumble all around what I needed to say!

  9. I am still smiling, great post!..

  10. Oh no! Such a sad mess up. I smiled as I read Bekah's thought pattern. Like me she takes things literally.


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