As the name of my blog indicates, I spend a lot of time thinking about home. Of course, my Heavenly Home is the one that is eternal, so that’s where I need to lay up my treasures, and that’s the one I’m striving for. But in the meantime, I have been given this tiny piece of the here-and-now—this home on the edge of town, this family, this neighborhood—in which to serve Him. And, though this is in the earthly realm, I want the things that happen here to be investments in the Heavenly realm.

Thursday, February 23, 2012


I was waiting for Bekah to have her piano lesson, settled in on a cozy sofa in the waiting area, warm and comfy and reading my book.  Then something startled me.

I read this line...
"The back door swung open, and an attractive older woman, in her fifties perhaps, strolled from the house."

Did you see what that said?!  An "older woman" her fifties?

{Wake up call!}

At first, I snickered.  This author must be about 25 years old, I scorned. 

I read the passage aloud to Kati (18) who I supposed would also see the humor in this.  But she was not startled by the words. At all.  "The author is writing from Valerie's perspective," she reasoned. (Valerie, aged 19, is the main character.) Okay.

When I had my first baby, I was just 19 years old.  (I turned 20 a few days later, but I was 19.)  My son was born two years later, when I was 21 (22 within the month).  And during the early years of raising these two children, I was the young mother, usually the youngest in any group of mothers.

I was 33 when my third child was born.  There were plenty of mothers my age.

Then my youngest child was born when I was 40.  I was no longer the young mother.  I am now one of the oldest moms in every activity of my child's age mates.

But still, seeing in print "an older woman, in her fifties perhaps" gave me pause for thought.  

Does it come down to the fact that age is relative? 

We used to be amused at my great aunt who, in her seventies, referred to her bridge partners as "the girls." 

My mom took issue with something I said in a recent blog post.  I had said that one of the reasons that I don't move furniture around like I used to is because I am too old.  "You're just a kid," she opined. 

And of course, we all remember thinking, as a child, that a certain person was "old," only to be startled years later when we learn just how "old" that person was when we thought it. 

So, to some, I am now "older."  (In case you haven't kept up with the math, I am 51.)  

What does that mean?  I mean, besides a few aches and pains and less energy.

It should mean that I am an example to younger women, and a teacher of good things. 

How do I know that?  He tells me so:

The aged women likewise,
that they be in behavior as becometh holiness,
not false accusers, not given to much wine,
teachers of good things;

That they may teach the young women to be sober,
to love their husbands, to love their children,
to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good,
obedient to their own husbands,
that the word of God be not blasphemed.

(Galations 6:8 NKJV)

A heavy responsibity...but mine nonetheless. 

Help me as I ponder this. 
Are you an "older woman"?  How do you fulfill this instruction?
Are you a "younger woman" who looks to an older woman for example and for instruction?  Is it easy to find such women?  How have they helped you?


I am also having this discussion on facebook, and decided to add some of my friend's comments to the comments here. 


  1. Okay, L'il Missy, sit right down because I have a lesson or two for you! =D

    It certainly is a wake-up call to realize that time is fleeting, that this earthly life is not going to last forever. This is a good realization for it helps us to number our days and make the most of our time.

    Today, I am really thinking about growing older because I have to have the dreaded license picture taken this afternoon. I have kept every license since this picture taking began. It's an exercise in watching a face fall. I'll slap on some bright lipstick and pray that it all turns out okay. Vanity thy name is...

    Have a fun afternoon. By the way, I hear that those who have children at later ages, remain forever young.

  2. I know what you mean. Several years ago, I realized that I am an "older" woman, one that should be mentoring "younger" women, as it says in Titus 2.

    I am 48 with a 6 year old son, one of 6 kids - my oldest is 22, and he is a dad!

    I do like being my age - I have gained wisdom, I am not as worried about what others think of me etc...but it is disconcerting to think of being considered 'older'.

    I always say that age isn't the important thing it is staying involved with activities and serving others and caring for others that keeps you 'young'. My mother in law has done this her whole life and she is a vibrant 90 year old woman!

    I want to be like her when I get 'old.'


  3. I too was shocked recently when I learned that, unless I lived to be 90, I had passed "middle age" a while back! About ten years ago!

    I think the idea of being older is relative, and maybe that's the blessing of it... to me, I look up to the wisdom of my Mom and her friends, and the older ladies at church. To a young homeschooling Mom it might be the lady that has been homeschooling for several years and has enough of a handle on it to help a rookie. To a teen, an older woman might be a college-age girl that is a good influence for her. I guess we can all benefit from the wisdom and experience of Titus Two women, and we never stop needing them.

    Just the other day, I found an article about "The Titus Brigade" by Mary Hood... she's hoping a nation-wide movement of Titus Two ladies will start to take root. You can even get t-shirts!

    Kim :-)

  4. From my friend Susan...

    I can certainly relate!!! I've had that very conversation in my own thoughts for the last several months! Some days I feel as though I should be like that "young women" of 25 years, (can you believe I CRIED... Because I thought I was "old" then...) and now as I've hit that # 2 x ( WOW ), and the reality of life is sinking in AGAIN. There will always be someone younger to watch us, to learn from us, the good, and yes, even the bad. I am painfully aware of the fact as I watch my grandmother deteriorate and regress, that we won't always necessarily have someone older than us! I find myself telling my children "her" story since she no longer can tell it for herself as her own memories are fading into the proverbial sunset of her own life. So...I too have thoughts of how quickly each season of our lives pass, that I must learn to cherish where I am today, for tomorrow I will look back, thinking of how lucky I was "back then"!!! I used to tell my Grandmother as she tried to tell me she was looking forward to no longer dealing with the pains of "old age", that it was certainly better than the alternative of leaving us, her family and loved ones! Wisdom has now taught me, that we all come to the day when being here is no longer "better"...for our heavenly home is the place we've spent our whole earthly lives going to!!! So....i guess I said all of that to say, "Cherish Yesterday, Dream for Tomorrow, Live Today".... "Life is a journey, enjoy the ride!!!"

  5. That explains it... Here I thought that we were simpatico. Not so. I'm just a wee babe drinking in your wisdom. I've told you so before but now I know that it's because you're an 'older woman'. I'll really be paying attention now, so that I'll know how to behave in a couple of years when I'M an older woman. But wait... in a couple of years, you'll still be older... hmm.

    Let's get real here. I remember vividly when my grandmother turned 50 and I definitely thought of her as old. Now she'll be 86 in June and has no problem keeping up with me almost step for step. When she and I are together people call me sweetie and all of those pet names that imply I'm still wet behind the ears... yup. It's definitely relative. :)

    Don't you just love how the Word elevates us as we age. We are encouraged in our 'maturity' and younger people are encouraged to value what we have to offer. Very different from a humanistic view that glorifies youth and is terrified of growing old.

    Besides, what were you doing getting worked up about something that a 19 year old wrote anyway... she's still wet behind the ears!

    Blessings, Debbie

  6. Cheryl, it is so easy to remember the days when I thought of anyone over 40 as being "old"! Now that I'm kissing 60, I realize that a part of me will always feel like a child, like a young mother, like the person I was throughout all those years. It still shocks me to see anything in writing, indicating that someone who is 55 is a senior citizen! But honestly, I am thankful to be the age I am, to have accumulated life experience and to have walked with Christ for so many years.

    When I think of "older" women who have made a difference in my life, I think of Elisabeth Elliott, Amy Carmichael and Elizabeth Prentiss. I'm thankful for those who have gone ahead, who have been faithful and who have left their witness in writing.

    I find your post convicting, as I don't fulfil the instruction very well. Thank you for the urging to ponder and obey this scripture.

  7. I think in a sense we are all older women...isn't there someone younger than each one of us? This hit home recently when my new sister-in-law asked me how she should handle something with my brother -- I am the older women!

    What I'm trying to lock away right now is the memory of how tough these years with lots of little ones are so that when I'm through them I'll still be able to relate, encourage, and help young moms (like you do).

    It's not that I don't love being a mama, but I don't want to forget how difficult it is to run on little sleep, to not talk to anyone over the age of 5 in a whole day, to cart four kids in and out of the grocery store, etc. I want to use those memories to compel me to call young moms, drop of meals for no reason, offer to watch their children, or anonymously leave bags of groceries on their porches.

    Thanks for being an older woman, you're doing a great job!

  8. I will weigh in here Cheryl, You are not getting older just better!~smile~ I absolutely love reading this post so much so I am now going back to re-read it!

    I almost laughed out loud, when you wrote of your conversation with your mother,as I have had many such conversations with my dear mother who just turned 84 years young and works a full time job. She puts me to shame with her stamina!

    You are indeed an example to the younger women and a wonderful teacher. How do I know this? Because I am always learning from you ,and I, "my dear friend" have a few years on you, okay a lot of years..~smile~ You continue to inspire me, and for that I am most thankful, you see, I am old physically, but inside abides this very youthful spirit, I refuse to get old! LOL.
    Thank you for your sweet thoughts, and for your prayers.

    Much love,


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