Mother's Day Musings

I cherish these photos, taken by my dear friend Frances when Ryan was home at Thanksgiving.  I cherish them because I cherish the people in them, my own blessings from the Lord.  

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Psalm 127:3

My firstborn, Kristin

My only son, Ryan

My middle daughter, Kati

The "baby", Bekah

And a post from the archives...musings about motherhood...

I have wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. Yes, as many little girls, I considered being a teacher. I also thought about being a writer. But in my mind, these were only things to do until I was able to be a mother. That’s what I really wanted. Well, in this case, God granted my desire, because two years after marrying my high school sweetheart (Ron, who is now my grown-up sweetheart), we were blessed with our firstborn, a darling little red-haired girl, Kristin.

As delighted as I was with my little treasure, I’ll never forget my feelings the night that we brought her home from the hospital. First of all, I felt completely overwhelming love. But a thought that kept coming to the surface was something like, “Now what?!” I had babysat occasionally and tended the church nursery now and then, but this baby was mine! She was my responsibility. There was no one there to supervise and make sure that I did everything right. There was not going to be a parent who would come to retrieve her in a few hours. HELP!

Yes, He did help. My heavenly Father helped me get through that first night. And the next. And the next. And through the toddler years. And through the addition of another treasure, Kristin’s brother Ryan. And eventually, through the addition of two more precious baby girls and the loss of another. And through the teen years. There were some financially lean years, and some years of heart wrenching decisions. There were times of illness and change. And, no (absolutely no!), I did not do everything right...but oh how great I have found His grace to be!

If I were to name some principles that have guided me as a mother, I would have to include these:

• PRAY
  I suppose that sounds simplistic (although it is not)...but it really is KEY to raising children for the Lord.
  
  I learned this from my own Godly mom. Her own family situation was less than ideal and they were not Christians, so her parenting skills were learned “from scratch”, so to speak. So at each decision, big and small, she went to the Lord for His guidance.
  
  I have tried to make the same habit of praying about everything that concerns my children...from praying for their life mates to praying about specific curriculum choices...from seeking guidance on how to deal with a specific attitude to praying for general wisdom for my husband and myself. After all, doesn’t it make sense to trust the Lord of the universe, the One who created these children, for the wisdom we need in guiding them into His Kingdom?
  
  
  
• VALUE GOD'S PLAN FOR YOU AS A WOMAN
  As much as I had longed to be a mother, I was not prepared for the possibility that other people would not see the value of that role. Most disappointing was that that attitude was also felt keenly in the church. And so I felt a type of peer pressure to fulfill “duties” that conflicted with my primary duty as my children’s mother. But the Lord brought several “older women” (as in Titus 2) into my life to teach me God’s value of Biblical womanhood...although I have never personally met either of them. They are authors of books and newsletters.
  
  The first book that I read that opened my eyes to the grand scope of my role was The Way Home by Mary Pride. What a release I felt from “others’” opinions when I read the ideas in this book! I got a new vision for my role of wife and mother. Many myths of feminism (and many that the church has accepted) were diffused in my mind.
  
  Another author who has “provoked [me] unto love and to good works’ (Hebrews 10:24) is Elisabeth Elliot. Although she is best known for her book Through Gates of Splendor (the biography of her husband, missionary Jim Elliot, who was martyred), she has written so many encouraging words for women. The Shaping of a Christian Family, Let Me Be a Woman, and Keep a Quiet Heart have all inspired me.
  
  I “met” Helen Aardsma through her newsletter. The Mother's Companion was published six times each year, running from January 1995 through December 2003. I subscribed to it for several years, and even purchased some of the back issues, because these were packed full of wisdom that Helen, mother of 10, had gleaned over her years of serving the Lord. (You can visit her website, www.themotherscompanion.org, to read some sample issues, as well as to purchase back issues.)
  
  Through God’s leading, and the teaching of these “Titus 2” women, I learned total contentment and fulfillment in His plan for me in my role as wife and mother.
  
  
  
• KEEP ON
  “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” (KJV) I believe that those words are absolutely true...for the Christian in general, including the Christian mother. We cannot grow weary and let down our guard; we cannot faint. There is too much at stake. But how thrilling to know that He has promised that, if we do not grow weary, and if we do not faint, we shall reap! Keep praying and teaching and serving, Christian mother. The rewards are eternal.
  
  
  

Raising the White Flag

I surrender.

To the white.

Or to the gray.

Or to the salt and pepper?

All through my younger years I declared that I would never color my hair.  "I think gray hair is beautiful," I pronounced.  I did...and I do.  The problem was that I started graying at age 35, and I had a two-year-old at the time.  Too much too soon, I thought.  

Then came the day at Arby's.  I was out alone, running errands, and stopped for lunch.  A young mother (only slightly younger than me, I might add) and her little daughter came in and sat at a nearby table.  I noticed that the little girl kept looking at me.  Then she said, "It's Nana, Mommy!"  

Her mother told her that it was not Nana, but she couldn't be convinced.  "It's Nana," she insisted. 

Trying to mollify the situation, the mother gushed in her sweetest voice, "She's pretty like Nana."

I must confess that at that moment I disliked the placating mother and her innocent child, and I held a grudge against Nana for having gray hair.  I bought some Nice and Easy and returned to my original dark brown, a distinctly un-Nana-like color. 

Fast forward around seventeen years.  I am now a grandmother of eight.  I must color my hair more often as there is more gray.  I still think gray hair is beautiful.  Even if it is on my head.  

I am ready to raise the white flag.

Hair evolution (l to r):  dark brown; "camouflaging" highlights; more "camouflage"

When I told my stylist that I was going gray, I told her that my biggest qualm was looking like a skunk.  She recommended that I put in highlights to ease the transition.  Tuesday, I had the second (and final) stage of highlights put in, and there's no going back.  

And now that I am being bold, I just might get my ears pierced!

The Hidden Art of Homemaking {Chapter 3: Music}

Cindy of  Ordo Amoris is hosting a book club discussing The Hidden Art of Homemaking by Edith Schaeffer.  Cindy has hosted other book clubs from time to time, and, although I read along, I have never been inclined to join in the discussion.  The participants are cerebral and articulate, and I consider myself neither.  This book, however, has drawn me in, for homemaking is a subject that is near to my heart.

In Chapter 3 of The Hidden Art of Homemaking, Edith Schaeffer praises the merit of music in the home, not for the purpose of "performance," but for enjoyment and enrichment.  

For me, music has always been an integral part of family life.  My parents love many kinds of music, and many was the night that I drifted off to sleep listening to music playing out in the living room...Eddie Arnold, The Bill Gaither Trio, Willie Nelson.  Although neither Mom nor Daddy played instruments, that did not prevent us from having "live" music in our home.  There were two sisters from our church who sang and harmonized beautifully, one of whom played the accordion, and they would come to our house, sometimes with a cousin, and they'd sing and we'd all sing and make music together.  

In my own family, music has also been important.  We have required that each of our children takepiano lessons for at least one year, to learn the basic building blocks of music.  Our son Ryan considered it penance and counted the days until his year was over, but later bought his own guitar, took lessons, and still finds joy in playing. Kati continued her lessons a little longer than the required year.  Both Kristin and Bekah loved (and love) to play the piano!

Among my favorite memories are a few family singalongs that we have had.  We gathered music books, old and new, plopped them in front of my niece Amy (piano performer/teacher/lover), and sang hymns, church music, oldies, Disney, until we could sing no more...literally hours!  

Other singalongs have been more impromptu.  One Thanksgiving evening, when some of Ron's extended family came over for dessert, Ryan played Christmas songs on his guitar, while Kristin played her flute, and everyone sang along.  (As an aside, 4-year-old Kati "played" her recorder.  She only played one note, but her rhythm was right on!  We still laugh about that!)  Another time, we all visited Ryan and his new wife Sarah at Christmastime, and sang with Ryan's guitar and Sarah's and Kati's harmonicas.  Good times!

Hymns are an important part of our home life.  We have many recordings of hymns for listening.  (But who can listen without singing along?  Not I!)  We also sing hymns as a part of our school day, striving to memorize the words.  We sing a hymn before we eat our Thanksgiving meal.  We often ask Bekah to play a hymn or two at holiday gatherings.  

Classical music is also a part of our school day, and we enjoy listening as well.  

Music: another one of the "hidden" arts of homemaking.

More thoughts on music in the home...

{31 Days of Hospitality} Day 25 ~ Music ♫

If you're interested in this book discussion, you may read along as I usually do 

(click ~here~ for all the posts in the discussion), 

or join in the discussion yourself!

(Click ~here~ for details on how to participate.)

Weekend Snapshots: Another Grand Weekend

About this time last year, Kristin and Brian had their first weekend getaway ever, as we hosted their five children for a "grand weekend."  It was successful, for them and for us, so we agreed to do it again this year.

This was the weekend and, like last year, I am filled with sweet memories, totally exhausted, and have renewed admiration for my daughter and son-in-law.  (God gives children to the young for good reason.)  

On Saturday morning, as I came down the stairs into the living room, two-year-old Alaine lit up and ran to give me a hug.  Ben (4) shouted, "Breakfast!"  Both made me smile.  

I also smiled as I watched big sister Maddie's tenderness with her younger siblings, as she watched over them like a little mommy.  

I smiled as Gavin (10) read jokes from the book he brought, and he and Papa both laughed at every one.

I smiled as Owen (6) played "Apples to Apples" by himself, the first time he wasn't part of a team...and as he sounded out the words on his cards.  I smiled at his smile as he presented the brownies he made with Aunt Kati. 

Tonight, I will be smiling as I fall into bed and sleep like a rock.  

Refreshing Drops

This week, a couple of days of steady rain gave way to a bright and sunny morning.  I stepped outside my back door before the sun had evaporated all the refreshing drops of previous days.  

Gray days can be gloomy, and we may feel a little sluggish when one rainy day follows another, but the earth needs water, vegetation needs water, animals and mankind need water.  Life cannot go on without it.  

In the same way, our souls crave, they need, water.  And water does not come when the sun is shining and the world is cheery and bright.  Refreshing rains come in the gray, in the gloom.  But if we look through spiritual eyes, we can see the soaking, the replenishing, the met need of a parched soil.  

When the sun begins to shine again, there is growth.

 _____________________________

Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out,

so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.

Acts 3:19

The Hidden Art of Homemaking {Chapter 2: "What is Hidden Art?"}

Homemaking is often a "hidden" art.  If you need accolades or frequent encouragement or the world's admiration, then homemaking is unlikely to satisfy.  Being a "keeper at home" (Titus 2:5) is to do valuable work, but to do it mostly unseen. 

One of my daughters told someone who inquired about her career plans that she hoped to be a stay-at-home wife and mother.  The response was, "Awwww..." (as in "that's so cute").  If she had said that she wished to be a school teacher or a nurse or a marine biologist, would the reply be the same?  I doubt it.  

But that's okay!  Having a vision of the scope of your work and its inestimable value causes the fact that it is "hidden" to be unimportant.  Being a homemaker is fulfilling if done with purpose and creativity!

One of my favorite passages in Chapter 2 of The Hidden Art of Homemaking is this:

People so often look with longing into a daydream future, while ignoring the importance of the present.  We are all in danger of thinking, "Some day I shall be fulfilled.  Some day I shall have the courage to start another life which will develop my talent", without ever considering the very practical use of that talent today in a way which will enrich other people's lives, develop the talent, and express the fact of being a creative creature.

I love this thought! It confirms what I believe about teaching my daughters in the art of homemaking.  Use your creativity now--to serve your family, to serve your friends, to serve your fellow man--as you have opportunity.  

I have three daughters at different stages of life.  Kristin, my oldest, is married and is a homeschooling mother to five.  My second daughter, Kati, is 19 and lives at home.  Bekah, the youngest, just turned twelve.  And each one of my girls is a creative homemaker!  Although the younger two do not have their own homes, they are (as Edith said) using their "talent today in a way which will enrich other people's lives."  

When Bekah asks me to teach her to make banana bread "so the bananas will not go to waste."  When she searches through cookbooks and says, "Let's make this stuffed crust veggie pizza," and adds the ingredients to my grocery list, and then chops and slices and rolls out dough.  When Kati makes two loaves of rosemary bread, one for dinner, one to give away.  When she takes on part time work, tending to the needs of an elderly man.  When Bekah brings in a bouquet of flowers from the yard and arranges them in a vase.  When the girls have creative ideas for holiday celebrations or for decorating their rooms. When they create homemade gifts for birthdays and Christmas.  All of these things warm my mother's heart, for they are using their homemaking talents in ways that "enrich other people's lives."  

Hidden?  Perhaps.  But not from the One who sees.  

If you're interested in this book discussion, you may read along as I usually do 

(click ~here~ for all the posts in the discussion), 

or join in the discussion yourself!

(Click ~here~ for details on how to participate.)

April

I am ever amazed at how quickly the calendar turns from one page to another, and the sun has risen and set another thirty days or so, and the seasons are changing, and my children and grandchildren are changing and growing.  I look back over each month and try to record in my memory the milestones, the big and small pieces of our lives, the blessings and the challenges.  And I am grateful for His faithfulness.  

What is time, unless it is an opportunity to serve Him? Am I using my time--these days, these moments--for good?  Am I helping, encouraging, relating, seeking beauty, making beauty? 

Do the small things really count?  

For who has despised the day of small things?

Zechariah 4:10

Sunday Snapshots: Fellowship

Our usual eleven became twelve this afternoon, as we were joined by Kati's good friend, Kate.  (Actually, Kate is a friend of the whole family. We've known her since she was 3!)   

Highlights of the day: 

the season's first burgers cooked on the grill

 outside meal, outside play

little girls playing "Nancy Drew"

three dessert options 

talking up a storm

laughing

games

Life's simple pleasures...shared with a friend.

Sweet Glimpses of Spring

Does it ever seem to you that spring comes all of a sudden?  One day it is cold and the trees are bare and the grass is brown.  And then, almost imperceptibly, spring slips in and all is green and bright and bits of color are all around.  

When Ron brought home our Friday night carry-out, he said, "We really need to eat out on the patio tonight."  So I hastily gathered drinks, napkins, ketchup, put it all on a wooden tray, and out we went to enjoy meatball subs al fresco.  

Oh, it was a perfect evening...not cold, not hot, not humid.  The evening sun shone brightly.  

Spring has sprung.

And we enjoyed spring in our little corner of the world.  

The flowers appear on the earth;

The time of singing has come,

And the voice of the turtledove

Is heard in our land.

Song of Solomon 2:12

The Hidden Art of Homemaking {A Book Club}

Cindy of  Ordo Amoris is hosting a book club discussing The Hidden Art of Homemaking by Edith Schaeffer.  Cindy has hosted other book clubs from time to time, and, although I read along, I have never been inclined to join in the discussion.  The participants are cerebral and articulate, and I consider myself neither.  This book, however, has drawn me in, for homemaking is a subject that is near to my heart.

Since my earliest memory, I have wanted to be a homemaker.  

I toyed with the idea of being a teacher, a writer, a psychiatrist (!).  But I always knew that when I was married and had children, I would be a full time homemaker.  

For me, creating a rich, beautiful, and welcoming home environment is the best job there is. And I believe that it is a job that has investments in the eternal realm. Serving as a helpmeet, discipling my children, opening my home for ministry and fellowship...all are ways to use my home to serve my Lord. Giving attention to detail, purposefully designing its environment, setting the tone...all support that service. The Hidden Art of Homemaking validates the idea that homemaking is important, and that it requires creativity to do it well.

One must only take a perfunctory glance at nature to realize that there is a Designer, a Master Creator. In Chapter 1 of The Hidden Art of Homemaking, Edith Schaeffer describes our Creator as "The First Artist." And God has created human beings, made in His image, with the capacity and desire for creativity. We draw. We sew. We sing. We invent. We plan a menu. We set a pretty table. We build a table. We write. We solve problems. And we use creativity in all of those endeavors, and in countless others. Our creations are paltry compared to our own Creator's, but in creating, we are reflecting just a bit of His nature.

Eric Liddell, missionary and Olympic runner, was said to have stated, "When I run, I feel His pleasure."

I adapt his words to express my own sentiment, "When I make a home, I feel His pleasure."

If you're interested in this book discussion, you may read along as I usually do 

(click ~here~ for all the posts in the discussion), 

or join in the discussion yourself!

(Click ~here~ for details on how to participate.)

The Road to a Friend's House is Never Long

When I got up this morning, I thought it would be an ordinary sort of day.  Tidying the house from the weekend, homeschooling, laundry, meals. The usual.  

This afternoon, my phone rang.  I thought it was Kati who was running errands after work.  It was not.  

SURPRISE!  

It was my friend Deanna!  She and her crew were on a field trip to Assateague and wanted to know if it would be okay to come and see us before they drove back to Pennsylvania.  Okay?  Of course...we'd be delighted!!   I warned her that I had a cold.  She warned me that her hair was windblown.  She told me not to worry about the house.

Again, we picked up where we left off last time.  I love that!  

Friends!

Deanna (center); her daughters Sarah, Rachel,and Lindsay;
her son Kyle; and their friend Sarah (back left)

We are already planning another visit to their home in the fall.  (Unless another surprise visit happens before then.)  

Because the road to a friend's house is never long.  

Sunday Snapshots: Two Kinds of Fun

Which is more fun?  

Playing on a big pile of stones...climbing up, running over, rolling down, sliding down...

...or taking a break for a Klondike Bar picnic in the kitchen?

Around the House This Week

Ron was around the house this week!

Which meant that our around-the-house activities looked a little different.  

Ron put up a dinner bell near the back door. He has wanted one for years. Recently he found a good deal on one, and used some gift money he had squirreled away. We also planted some liriope along the edge of the patio, loved on Moses (our most recent "stray"), and drank iced mochas.

But the biggest around-the-house activity this week was painting the kitchen!  

Does it seem like we just did that?  Well, we did paint the kitchen cabinets in our remodel a year ago.  But the eating/living area of the kitchen had not been painted in years.  (We're not sure how many, but our son Ryan helped paint it...and he has been married for 8 years!)  It was time.  

Only the astute observer would see evidence of this project, because we kept the antique white walls/barn red wainscoting color scheme. 

Oh, but we know!  Four trips (four!) to get paint. A couple of days living with mauve primer on all of the trim. I felt like I was back in the '80's!  (Do you remember mauve?) 

Tonight, everything is put back together.  The painting is done.  Pictures are rehung.  Everything has been scrubbed and swept and polished.  I am taking ibuprofen every four hours.  

Next week, it will be back to routine around the house. I'll miss having Ron here. But homeschooling and cooking and cleaning sounds like a piece of cake.  

Vacation is hard work!

Note Card Party: Yellow

I love to see pops of yellow in the springtime! The natural world displays lots of yellow during the spring--daffodils, forsythia, tulips.  Do you suppose that our Creator planned it for our pleasure?   

This is my Fathers world 
And to my listening ears, 
All nature sings and round me rings 
The music of the spheres. 





This is my Fathers world, 
I rest me in the thought 
Of rocks and trees, of skies and seas, 
His hand, the wonders wrought. 

This is my Fathers world, 
The birds, their carols raise, 
The morning light, the lily white 
Declare their makers praise.  

This is my Fathers world, 
He shines in all that's fair. 
In the rustling grass I hear Him pass, 
He speaks to me everywhere.

This is my Fathers world, 
Oh let me ne'er forget 
That though the wrong seems oft so strong, 
God is the ruler yet. 


This is my Fathers world, 
The battle is not done. 
Jesus, who died, shall be satisfied 
And earth and heaven be one.

(Lyrics by Maltbie D. Babcock)

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